Snatching Defeat Out of Victory

So true, this verse.  If I allow it to be His battle.  There's always a struggle with how much I want to give it up and knowing I should give it up to be obedient.

I have had several weeks of victory.  Then, just when I get comfy, I fall.  This time it was none of my own doing, happened 2 days straight and then was in my dreams last night.  It's quite irritating how satan can use those instances and burden me with a dream that's hard to forget.

If I seriously wanted to forget it, I would ask God to wipe it out of my memory.  I do ask Him.  He can do it now or later but it will eventually be gone.

And He's unbelievably patient with me.  So loving and just puts up with my constant failures and messes.  He is Good.

I love this song, 'Goodness of God'.  This is my life. And when I stop to remember and think and dwell on this right thought, then I can pull that victory back into my days.

I love You, Lord

For Your mercy never failed me

All my days, I've been held in Your hands

From the moment that I wake up

Until I lay my head

Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God.

And all my life You have been faithful

And all my life You have been so, so good

With every breath that I am able

Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God.

I love Your voice

You have led me through the fire

And in darkest night You are close like no other

I've known You as a Father

I've known You as a Friend

And I have lived in the goodness of God.

    

These Very Strange Days!

I miss this!! Choir and Orchestra and church as normal.  Some people aren't missing it terribly much and that is my concern. People may choose to continue the quarantine life if they can. I'm afraid attendance will drop pretty low.  God wants us to worship Him together in person - He says so in the Word.  Hebrews 10:25. 'Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another...'

A lot has gone on in these last few years.  I've got more time now to write and maybe I will more often. This picture is one of my favorites.  On our 40th wedding anniversary we stood on the steps of the church where we married.  And now with 4 grandkids. Wow, we have been blessed so much!
My parents are still healthy and the kids are, too.

Now we are in a time that is so difficult.  The word 'unprecedented' is overused but that is the best description.  We have no idea how to handle things.  It's made worse by the fact that the media doesn't tell the truth.  They exaggerate and lie.  We don't know what to believe anymore.  Everything is political - even Covid-19.  So much has been stolen from us by this disease.  Traditions, celebrations, even the weekly routines that we have had for years with family has been interrupted.  It's hard to predict how long it will last.  Will Covid begin to be more like the flu? Just another virus eventually?
In the meantime, changes have occurred that may stay permanently. Like working from home for some people.  Or less church in the church - more online or in homes.  This is not bad - just different.

I'm beginning to think about retirement in a few years.  I am considering a job change in the next year or so that may provide a little more money for our retirement (if someone would hire me at that age!).  But God has always opened the door for me.  I've never been without and if He wants me in a certain position, then I will be there or will know that I should stay put. 

It helps me that I see someone very clearly now. So clear. It helps me to consider my future in a different way. The 'chain' is a little looser.  God has been so good to let some painful things happen to help me see.

Later!

Betrayal

Good Friday.  I've been thoughtful all day and have watched well-made videos capturing the despair and hopelessness of those who knew and loved Jesus.  Then...Sunday is coming!! What a joyous day! satan has been defeated.  We win in the end! So true and triumphant and I'm trying to enjoy all that I have today to help me observe.  So much on the internet and FB to choose from.  Even our own service tonight with just a soloist, videos, and scripture.  No choir. No congregation. No orchestra.  This is bizarre but maybe next year we'll appreciate it 100x more.

Thursday night, Jesus was betrayed by a 'friend'.  Betrayed to be captured, flogged, humiliated, and killed.  He let it happen.  Didn't have to let it happen.  God could have sent millions of angels to wipe the religious leaders and Romans off the earth.  But God turned His head away and let it happen out of love for us.  Amazing and touching and heartbreaking at the same time.  Because what He gets is us. Flawed and dumb.  Stubborn and silly.  Fearful and untrusting.  He doesn't give up on us and wants to spend time with us here and for eternity.  ABUNDANT LIFE!  Thank you, Lord Jesus!

My experience of betrayal is nothing like His.  It's tiny. It's deserved also.  I'm paying for mistakes I made in the past.  Jesus is teaching me as His child.  Discipline...learning what can happen if I stubbornly assume all is okay. That I'm not doing anything wrong.  That my attitude is fine.  After all, I pray for this person daily.  I much admire them and their gifts.  I watch their back. I've been a very close friend and would do anything for them.  Caught in a trap....played like a yo-yo.  

Yesterday, that person betrayed me.  Something said in confidence 3 years ago was played back in a sarcastic way in front of three others and me.  I was stunned. I went numb after the initial terrible embarrassment.  I faked laughter and changed the subject even though I know the others heard me say 'You're embarrassing me'.  My face turned red.  They saw.  They were probably very puzzled at what they heard.  But now, I'm concerned that other personal things will be tossed out to whosoever. 

I am not angry, surprisingly.  Just 'cast down' as David the Psalm-writer said.  Humiliated and sad.  I won't be able to call this person my good friend anymore.  Just going to have to be a surface relationship.  Probably the friendship wasn't a good idea anyway. It was one-sided.  And I doubt that this person even remembers today that they did that to me yesterday.  They will wonder why I've backed off and am not seeking them out.  But it will only do more harm to talk about it with them.

Again, I know it doesn't compare to Jesus' betrayal.  But I know He understands and, even though I did wrongly in the past to possibly cause this, He is loving me and I feel His grace and His arms around me.  Thank you, God, for loving me 'in spite of'.

Catchin' Up Five Years Later

What changes in our lives!!  And this blog now should be called 60 in P-Town!!! :)  Here is a short summary of these past 5 years.  This does not include, of course, all the emotions, high points, low points, daily grind, wonderful holidays, family birthday get-togethers, beautiful seasons, everyday wonders and routines!

• In 2015, our pastor, Dr. E. retired.  My boss became instrumental in finding a new pastor.
• 2016, Pastor M. came (April).  
• July, 2016, I became his assistant and left my music ministry job.
• May, 2018, I got shingles.  That's a 'highlight'! Ha!  We had to cancel our trip to see Stephen and Rachel in Nevada.  I was out of commission for 2 weeks and then had leftover nerve pain for months.  I still have the nerve pain when I am really stressed.
• 2019 was a bad year health wise for my husband and some for parents.
• 2019 was a Siesta Key year.  Wonderful as usual!
• Now 2020.  Hopeful it would be stellar.  But we have an unprecedented thing happen with this COVID-19 virus that came to us from China.  The world is in quarantine and only just now are some countries coming out of it.  We in the US are at peak or close.  "Shelter in Place" is the new rule.  "Social Distancing" is the new catchphrase.  6 feet away!  People in masks when we shop.  The kids' school year is over.  They won't go back until August.  My little Maddie's 5th grade year with all of its highlights is over.  Natalie won't get to sing "Kindergarten, Here We Come" while her mother cries. 
• I have also had victory in these days at work with a 'pet' struggle that I've had for years and years.  There have been many changes there and it's helped that there is now one closer than me to my problem person.
• So today - John is out cycling.  He has taken this sport up in the last few years and is amazing.  Rides 40-60 miles at a time with no problems.  He's in great shape and I'm proud of him.
• These days are slow.  I don't get in a hurry to do anything because I have all the time in the world.  I'm even cooking some.  I miss the kids so much.  I have been seeing them more than I should but I'll take a break for a week or so.  I want to go see them on Easter.  We won't be having church services (going on 4 weeks now since we've had services).
• So yes, there are advantages. Not spending much money, relaxing and less stress for me. Not so much for John. He's still having to work 8-5 on the computer and virtually.  I feel badly for those who have lost jobs and that so many businesses will die.  I guess I never really thought about how bustling and busy we are and about all the congregating we do as people and as a community.  I hope we'll never take that for granted again.
• Now for some pics to catch up:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Hello, again!

Not that I'm a true writer, mind you, but I blame my lack of blogging on writer's block.  I think and think and know what I'd like to write but I hold back my careless words.  I trust that God is in control and He is infinitely patient and heaven knows, I'm not perfect and am being forgiven every day for my own actions.  I'm still stunned by so many things that have happened this summer in my country and our world and the news is still rolling out of more unbelievable acts that were hidden and now coming to light.  I'll just let someone else say what I feel because Ann Voskamp does it well.  She is one of my favorite bloggers.  She put it perfectly in this post the other day from her blog A Holy Experience: http://www.aholyexperience.com/

““The days are coming,” declares the Sovereign Lord, “when I will send a famine through the land— not a famine of food or a thirst for water — but a famine of hearing the words of the Lord.

People will stagger from sea to sea  and wander from north to east, searching for the word of the Lord, but they will not find it.”

And it’s like you can hear Martin Luther answer up here where the earth’s been burnt bare and heaven’s reaching down: “A man’s word is a little sound that flies into the air, and soon vanishes; but the Word of God is greater than heaven and earth, yea, greater than death and hell, for it forms part of the power of God, and endures everlastingly.”

Maybe in a summer that burned down churches, that feels like the church is burning with an inferno of opinions from within,  a summer that feels like the arson of humanity and holy things, maybe that is what extinguishes the flame: In a broken world that may not esteem the Bible, but still esteems Jesus, it’s Jesus who says that the Scripture cannot be broken.

His Word cannot be falsified, disqualified, modified or nullified. His Word cannot be distorted or inverted or reinvented or demerited or interpreted away. His Word is beauty, it is wooing, and it will all be accomplished absolutely.

The debate of the day may change, the crisis may change, the screaming headlines of the genuinely horrifying may change — but, in the entire heaving cosmos, this remains unchangeable, unstoppable, undaunted: The Word of God. His Word is absolute and resolute and it will remain until time concludes.

God’s Word is more permanent than any words written in granite — or in headlines or campaign slogans or PR statements or press releases or laws.

Mountain rock is fleetingly temporary compared to the forever permanence of the Rock of His Word.

  Culture cannot shape it and society cannot silence it and scarred people cannot help but be wooed by it, healed by it, held by it.

And the Lover of the letter, He soothes: “The mountains may pass away, but my truth will not pass away, the grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever, and though the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but My steadfast love shall not depart from you.”

Amen!

Now, on a definitely lighter note, the days have gone by happily family-wise since I wrote last.  Loving our new little Natalie and going on a family vacation to our favorite spot, Siesta Key.  Some favorite pics:

Lan

Our beautiful 'stair-steps'

As usual, the sunsets did not disappoint! One of the most beautiful ever!

Their expressions say it all. They had a blast!

Youngest and Oldest:  10 months and 81 years

Our complete little family...we were so happy that Stephen and Rachel traveled 2000 miles to be with us.

Love this one: Our favorite time of the day.

 I told my mom that they started this mob! 2 to 22!

Can you tell this little Maddie is accustomed to the camera!

Trish, Mom, Me...selfie! ha!!

Erin and Natalie!  I just didn't want to come home this time. Great week!

Precious, Chaotic, Noisy, Happy!

The last five months are characterized by the words precious, busy, chaotic, noisy, and happy.

On July 30, our daughter's family moved in with us.  Their house had sold pretty quickly and they were building a house that was on schedule for this month (December).  So they moved in to our two little bedrooms and shared a tiny bathroom.  All 5 of them...Erin, Brad, and three kids 5 and under.  I was happy that my nine-months-pregnant daughter was in my house where I could watch over her.  I always dreaded those last few weeks, sleeping with my cell phone, waiting to be called to rush out to the hospital!

Baby Natalie was due on September 3. On September 4, Erin had an OB appointment and then ran errands.  I came home from work to her sitting at the kitchen table timing contractions and water leaking.  With 3 little ones running around and trying to get them in bed, time passed quickly as we decided what to do.  Got the babies in bed and at 11pm, I drove E & B to the hospital.  BUT not before Micah the 21 month old decided to get sick in his crib and throw up everywhere.  We were standing at the door with bags in hand when he did that.   Stop everything! HA!  We went back up, cleaned him up and changed the sheets, put him back down and left all peaceful with my husband and on to the hospital.

No problems with admittance to the hospital and we settled in the room as Erin prepared to have her fourth baby! She is really my HERO.  I've said it 3 times before and I speak truth.  That girl has a high pain tolerance and knows exactly how to handle it.  The night was quiet as she slept and I was up and down checking the monitors and walking the halls. I didn't want to go too far away.

Finally at 6am (after several little scares with baby's heartbeat and Erin having to change positions) she felt ready.  The midwife checked and things moved fast.  That sweet baby was born at 6:19am. 8lbs. 6oz.  We had one scare.  When the midwife was wrestling the baby out, she found that the cord was very short, unusually so.  A nurse called out to 'Call NICU'.  Brad and I looked at each other.  But within a few seconds Natalie cried loudly and the nurse said 'never mind'!  Whew! Those were some quick desperate prayers during those few seconds.

The next day, Natalie came home to my house.  And up until now she has been there where I could rock her every night and play with her and hold her. I do miss that. The other three would come running and give us hugs when John and I came home from work. Little Micah would snuggle up next to me every night and play games on the iPad. We got 'good night' hugs every night.  Maddie started kindergarten, lost her first tooth at our house and, most importantly, accepted Jesus into her heart up in Erin's old bedroom.  Landon celebrated his 4th birthday and Micah, his 2nd.  I had lots of companionship in the evenings as E & B made me watch Batman movies, TV series like Resurrection and Last Man Standing and Shark Tank.  We did Halloween and Thanksgiving together and lots of rides to church together.  All in all, a good experience that I won't forget.  I'm thankful to God for our close family and the fact we got along very well during that 5 months!

We've just celebrated their first Christmas in their new home. It's beautiful and the setting is even more so.  Congratulations to them!  2015 is next week and we are looking forward to many hours there on the mountainside!  We also anticipate a visit by Stephen and Rachel next month and Siesta Key time in July and our niece's wedding sometime in 2015.  The Lord continues to bless and I am humbled and so grateful for that.  

Photos I love:

Wide awake at bedtime!

24 hours old at my house! 

Evenings were often spent like this!

Little beauty.

1  week old.  I loved holding her in the evenings after work.

Nightly routine.

Sweet Natalie!

Maddie and I enjoyed going to the library. She got her first library card!

Cute Landon!

Time: 6;30am. Loved seeing that little face at my kitchen table.

Madison accepted Jesus into her heart this fall!

Micah and I had fun while mommy was recovering!

In the mountains this fall.

The kids helped me decorate our tree! It was a nice pretty mess!

Maddie put her list for Santa up on our fireplace. Just to be on the safe side!

Nice side yard at the new house. Up the mountain!

Erin and Natalie were Mary and Baby Jesus in this year's Christmas presentation at RSBC.  Beautiful!

HA!!

Maddie was a very serious angel.  She wanted to get it right!

The new house. It's full of light and in a beautiful setting.

Let's not forget C3.  As usual, it took many hours of work but was the best we've ever done!

G&G are still doing great!! We count our blessings.  Merry Christmas and Happy 2015.

March, April, May, JUNE??

Poor blogging habits!  Today is June 1 so I'll try to capture the last 3 months quickly!

Late spring, summertime rhythm is already here.  90 degrees, late afternoon thunderstorms, windy, beautiful green, flowers, hummingbirds looking for their feeder (we have to get a new one soon!).  Life winds through the weeks in a steady sameness.  Work, work, time with the kids on Fridays, Church on Sundays.  My daughter is blooming beautifully. 26 weeks pregnant with a baby girl! Can't wait to see her and I can only envision her with red hair. Funny!  The other three are thriving and happy, just the usual sicknesses and play and boo-boos.   Saturdays are my rest day as I work around the house and get ready for another busy week.  There are changes going on in my life in many different forms.  The usual physical as I am 56 (ha!), changes at work with new responsibilities, more coming soon, trying to keep up, so tired.  Changes in family 'stuff'.  Some changes I cannot control and some I can.  Sad ones, good ones, lots of changes.  Trying to keep my perspective, trying to keep an optimistic outlook.  My feelings run deep and some I have to keep hidden because I influence others.  God and I talk.  That's enough.

During Mother's Day week, we got to visit our son and daughter-in-law again in Nevada.  We visited Bryce Canyon and Capitol Reefs National Parks in Utah.  We had amazing weather.  Sun, snow, wind, just so much beauty! Went to bed in Utah on Saturday night...56 degrees outside. Woke up on Mother's Day morning and it was 28 degrees and several inches of snow piled up against our motel door.  It was gorgeous.  Thankfully, the 70 year old motel had a great restaurant...a local favorite that does a home-cooking menu.  Country-fried steak, pancakes, patty melts, Yuuuum...it was all good.  We just walked over for our meals.  We decided to hike down into Bryce Canyon and see everything in the snow that day.  I was a little timid about it but we did it and I'm so glad we did.  Unforgettable!

Hiking down into Bryce Canyon

Note the colors behind me in the rock.  I was cold but not too miserable.  There had been winds and snow flurries the entire time we hiked.  40 degrees!  Wow! And just a hoodie!

Bryce Canyon 'hoodoos'.  There's a reason for the name but I forgot.

Bryce in the Snow

John and I at Fairyland Canyon

Bryce and Stephen. He likes the edge!

Bryce

Capitol Reefs (hiking through a gorge)

A funny little hotel and restaurant.  Good food...I'll never forget my banana bread, fruit and fried potatoes breakfast.
This place was run by old hippies. :)

Snowy drive through the scenic byway in Utah

Utah blue and white

Utah Christmas trees!

We returned to Georgia and these little ones were waiting on me.  Maddie loves her New Testament she received in pre-school.  Even takes it to restaurants and when she's had enough...

My Fridays all look a lot like this.  JOY!